Daniel and I recently read Jon Acuff’s book, “Quitter” over the holiday break. We got so jazzed about the book that we chose the word “Hustle” as our word for 2013. Daniel achieving his dream job that will enable us to pay off debt and then slow travel as a family is fantastic. However, what do I do while Daniel is hustling and making the dream happen?
When I was reading “Quitter” I kept wondering what does Jon’s wife, Jenny, do while Jon is moving jobs and hustling all the time. I wondered about her, because Jenny is a Stay At Home Mom like myself. Other than a few pearls of wisdom from his wife and some advice about keeping a schedule, we don’t really know much about Jenny from the book. Of course, writing a book about following your dream job from the spouse’s perspective wasn’t the point of Acuff’s book. I was curious about Jon’s wife, because I am searching for answers for myself.
I don’t have all the answers, but here are seven things I know that I should be doing that will encourage my husband:
1. Pray for my husband. Last year I read through “The Power of a Praying Wife” and that helped me know how I could pray for him in all aspects of his life. I am always praying that God would give him wisdom for what products to workon, how to spend his time, and that God will help him with difficult projects.
2. Respect his work hours. Daniel will probably be spending 10+ hours a day at his desk. I can’t always be asking him for help with the kids because he really does need to work. It is very easy to blur work and life boundaries when husband and wife both work at home.
3. Be a listening ear when he needs to talk about his work. My husband works mostly for himself and sometimes he needs a sounding board about a work topic. Sometimes he asks for my discernment. Being an outsider can make it easier for me to point out obvious flaws in a project.
4. Take on more of the house work. Normally my husband does all the dishes and takes out the trash. I hate doing the dishes, but I remember that this is a temporary phase of our married lives. When we are debt free my husband will have more time to do the dishes.
5. Ask how I can support him. I often ask Daniel, “How can I support you?” He doesn’t always have an answer for me, but it communicates that I am thinking about him and that I care about his wishes.
6. Speak up when I need time with him. Work can be a demanding and a greedy time stealer. When I know that I need some time with husband I let him know. He can’t read my mind and dropping hints doesn’t work. I let him know and then we put a date night on the calendar even it’s just watching a movie at home.
7. Thank him for his work. I know that Daniel would rather be having fun with me and the kids, taking the night off, or sleeping. Hustling and fitting in work hours isn’t fun for him either. A simple “thank you for working hard for our family” can go a long way to make him feel loved.
So what do I do while Daniel hustles? I hustle with the kids and our home. I hustle to make sure that he has everything he needs to be able to get his work done. I am grateful that I have a husband that is committed to doing his part to achieving our dream. I am also so grateful that his commute is the length of our staircase in our home. Mostly, I am grateful that we are hustling and gaining traction on our debt and dream.